I am part of few DID groups and follow many blogs. The question around medications come back often.
Disclaimer: Everyone is different and I do respect everyone’s choices.
I choose few years ago to stop every single medications. I’ve replaced some by herbal medications but expect paracetamol and ibuprofen, I do not take any medications for my DID or depression.
Why am I not medicated ?
Few reasons that I’m gonna try to explain
1- DID and medications didn’t do a good mix
Before I started my therapist, like many other mental illness sufferers, I was on anti-depressant, sleeping tablets, anti-anxiety, and others “fun” medications.
When I got diagnosed with DID, I realised that my medications was preventing my alters to talk to me properly and in that order preventing me to make progress with my therapist.
When I stopped, it was hell on earth. I was like I released the kraken. Some of my most difficult alters were so angry, my switches got worst and the memory loss and suicidal thoughts.
But once we started to make progress, I quickly saw a difference.
I’m lot less foggy than when I took the medications.
2- I do not believe in medications
Let me explain this point. I do not believe that medications should be an answer to depression or suicidal thoughts. I now live in a country that gives anti-depressants like they would give a sweet. Therapy SHOULD be mandatory when anti-depressants are prescribed.
I have talked to so many people with anti-depressants but other help. How on earth can you think that taking some funny pills for a while (often in a very long term) will make things better ?!
People should have better access to therapy before taking any kind of medications. You cannot hope to get better just by taking pills and I really don’t know how to explain this simple thing to people anymore.
3- It’s freaking expensive
Yep… it’s easier to have a boob job for free in the UK than have access to cheaper medications. Being medicated isn’t cheap and I prefer to spend my money elsewhere.
I do understand that some people find their medications necessary and I completely respect this but personally, I prefer to spend my money on a hobby or a good book.
So here you go, that’s why I am not medicated.
I do have anti-depressants and sleeping tablets at home but I do not use them anymore. They are my safety blanket (I’m not going to lie).
Everytime I go to see my GP, he wants to prescribe pills and everytime I refuse. Yes I’m depressed and suicidal but it doesn’t mean that the pills would help me (it never really did, except than having highs and lows, I was just numb with depression symptoms and dark thoughts).