I am part of few DID groups and follow many blogs. The question around medications come back often.

Disclaimer: Everyone is different and I do respect everyone’s choices.

I choose few years ago to stop every single medications. I’ve replaced some by herbal medications but expect paracetamol and ibuprofen, I do not take any medications for my DID or depression.

Why am I not medicated ?

Few reasons that I’m gonna try to explain

1- DID and medications didn’t do a good mix

Before I started my therapist, like many other mental illness sufferers, I was on anti-depressant, sleeping tablets, anti-anxiety, and others “fun” medications.

When I got diagnosed with DID, I realised that my medications was preventing my alters to talk to me properly and in that order preventing me to make progress with my therapist.

When I stopped, it was hell on earth. I was like I released the kraken. Some of my most difficult alters were so angry, my switches got worst and the memory loss and suicidal thoughts.

But once we started to make progress, I quickly saw a difference.

I’m lot less foggy than when I took the medications.

2- I do not believe in medications

Let me explain this point. I do not believe that medications should be an answer to depression or suicidal thoughts. I now live in a country that gives anti-depressants like they would give a sweet. Therapy SHOULD be mandatory when anti-depressants are prescribed.

I have talked to so many people with anti-depressants but other help. How on earth can you think that taking some funny pills for a while (often in a very long term) will make things better ?!

People should have better access to therapy before taking any kind of medications. You cannot hope to get better just by taking pills and I really don’t know how to explain this simple thing to people anymore.

3- It’s freaking expensive

Yep… it’s easier to have a boob job for free in the UK than have access to cheaper medications. Being medicated isn’t cheap and I prefer to spend my money elsewhere.

I do understand that some people find their medications necessary and I completely respect this but personally, I prefer to spend my money on a hobby or a good book.


So here you go, that’s why I am not medicated.

I do have anti-depressants and sleeping tablets at home but I do not use them anymore. They are my safety blanket (I’m not going to lie).

Everytime I go to see my GP, he wants to prescribe pills and everytime I refuse. Yes I’m depressed and suicidal but it doesn’t mean that the pills would help me (it never really did, except than having highs and lows, I was just numb with depression symptoms and dark thoughts).


2 thoughts on “Medications

  1. I take meds, but I hear what our saying, i’m in Ireland, and man is it expensive here too. sometimes I think meds don’t do anything for me either. except numb me and leave me in a fog. xx


  2. In Norway where i live, i’ve been told there is no meds for DID. What is out there though, is meds for depression, anxiety, what-ever borderline ppl take.. etc.
    But i hear you. I take no meds for my DID, but i do for my bipolar (t2) dissorder.
    The med i take is in reality an epilepsi med, but it work wonders on my down trips. (Lamictal)
    They say 200mg. I stopped on 100mg.

    I also use some herbal “treatment” every now and then, and that is what made me realize i needed help in the first place. Now it helps me to stay positive, qurious and most importantly, in the D ID picture; more reflective in the moment, and self aware. (Ive been having this for years, most likely since childhood. I knew nothing else, and always thought all ppl were like i was.. how wrong i was.)

    The only Real issue that halts “my progress” now, is the fact that the occasional herbal progress must be a secret…
    And that is a serious issue, as it affect openness and understanding between patient (me) and theraphist.

    ..what works for me, might not work for you, i know.

    And yea, now im lost. Guess i missed a point or two.
    Gonne press send, with the words; training on writing and communication. (And English. Hope something made sense)

    Glad to see more ppl, that manages to somwhow control this strange condition, even if it might be totally different from my own ☕


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