Like many I hate hospitals.
I spent my childhood in hospitals because of problems with my ears. This week, I had to go back to hospital just for the day because of a stomach ulcer (due to stress) and I was freaking out. When I told the nurse and the doctor that I was nervous, they just didn’t give a shit. I told the nurse that I have a mental illness and it makes my visit at hospital very hard, she smiled, typed something on the computer and that was it. 2 friends came with me (I didn’t want to worry J., he was at work) and they weren’t allowed with me. I stayed 2 and a half hours in a small room by myself, a doctor came to poke my stomach, the nurse took blood samples, I was shaking like crazy, yet noone said anything. I had to concentrate really hard to not switch and tried to reassure my alters that we will be fine. It was hard, too hard. It shouldn’t have been like that.
When I was little and spent time at the hospital for operation on my ears, it was awful. They had to strap me on the bed because I was screaming and kicking and it was horrible. They thought by then that I was just having a weird reaction to anaesthesia. I now realise that it was because my alters were fighting and scared.
We now all hate going to hospital.
I hate doctors. I hate the fact that no one never really question the “why” I was like that. No one really care about me, it hurts to think that no one care for me enough to question. Teachers, doctors, parents. No one cared enough to say “something isn’t right with Ama, something need to be done”. Nooooo, I was an “shy” kid, a “strong-headed” teenager. No one fucking cared !!!!!!
We hate hospitals. We do not believe in the medical system nor the education system for that matter.