As usual, a lot is going on in my head.
For many years now, I’ve been a strong believer that you need to talk about mental illness to educate people. I wanted to help others by opening myself to them. 18 years ago, I started to see a therapist for self harming and depression. 18 years ago, nobody was talking about depression the way we are now. It’s great that we can talk about depression (even if there is still a lot of work to be done on that matter but that’s another subject). However, DID or many other mental illnesses are still very scary for people that have never experienced it (either being diagnosed or having someone with it).
For the past 6 years, I made sure not to talk to anyone about DID. I told my family after a year but J. knew from the start (I wanted to scare him because I didn’t want to be hurt or abandoned. Thank God, he stayed and he’s been my rock ever since).
However for the past year or so, I decided to talk more and more about it. I’m not shamed of who I am and my alters, I was just scared of others, of their reactions, of their words, etc. I was scared to be abandoned by my friends. But I am past that now.
I love the fact that my brain fragmented to protect me/us. Depression is (for now) part of my life and it’s fine to say that I sometimes feel crap and self harming is shit but is the consequence of my DID so why would I be ashamed of it?
I started to feel very hypocritical saying that I am not ashamed and that I wanted to raise awareness about DID, yet I was anonymous on this blog and refuse to have social media. Today, I took the leap; I added a picture of myself on the “about” page and create social media pages.
I will share my blog posts on Facebook but also articles that I find interesting/thought provoking/funny about mental illness. I want to live in a world that won’t shame me for being stronger than most (yep like it or not, people with mental illnesses are usual much stronger than some think).
I also added some buttons for blog feeds and my address email.
I’m on the roll and embracing it ! Thank you for reading me and following me.